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January 21, 2005

Snip

I am less of a man today than I was yesterday. I have been "snipped". A few hours ago, I experienced.... the vasectomy. I am no longer able to have children. Well, that's not exactly true - even though the sperm conduits have been severed, I still have some swimmers swimming around inside me.

The doctor who performed the operation is a friend of ours. His wife and Claudine were residents together. They are very close friends and have, oddly enough, delivered each other's children. Now, I can't mirror that situation and recipricate by giving this guy a vasectomy, but I have fixed his computers before so there ya go. However fixing his computers did not involve him dropping his pants and climbing bareassed into some stirrups - so he still has me at kind of a disadvantage.

Once I was in the freezing cold metal stirrups (see, it's not just women who get to complain about that sort of thing), it was very odd to just lie there (lay?) and have my genitals cut into while discussing the real estate market. The doctor and his wife (another doctor) are looking to buy a house in the nearby area and we talked about some of the homes they've looked at. While he was shoving needles into my scrotum. Actually it was nice to have something to talk about with someone I knew rather than having my .....

Hold on. I have to apply an ice pack.

.....Ok... brrrrr, I'm back.

Anyway, I was nice to have a friend to talk to while I was undergoing the procedure. The process never really hurt, but it was uncomfortable once or twice. Mainly the tugging. I would elaborate on the tugging, but the less said about the tugging, the better. But before I left, I did get to see the two little sections of my "tubes" that got cut out.

So now I am recovering. Which includes 10 minutes of ice pack every hour today. Applied directly to the scrotum. Fun. I'm supposed to stay off my feet for the next couple of days or so. And since Claudine is on call this weekend, it means the kids have to start putting themselves to bed. And getting their own meals. And MY meals, come to think of it. Is it so wrong to have a 9 year old operating the stove without parental supervision?

I'm not supposed to do any strenuous activity for a week or so. So I can't work out or run. And I'm not supposed to (ahem) ejaculate for about 10 days. So just what the hell am I going to do then? Sit around, watch DVD's, eat a lot, play computer games, surf the web?

Um, ok. If it's doctor's orders, I guess I can do that.

Posted by aellis at January 21, 2005 01:20 PM

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